She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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