Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
