that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
