PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
