I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
