You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
