Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
