You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
