My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
