Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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