i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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