I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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