She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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