I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
