Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
