I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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