guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
