I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
