i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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