I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize