He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
