I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
