need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
