Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
