MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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