with your own penis?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize