Dude my mom stole all your condoms
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
