guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
