Ketchup is God's man juice
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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