I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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