I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need moral support for this bender
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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