worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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