After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
