its not stalking. its research.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
