I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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