don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize