btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
