she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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