school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
