I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize