bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
