we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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