Bisexual people are plain selfish.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize