I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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