i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
