Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
