and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
