Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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