Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There are leaves in my underwear?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
