Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
