can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
