what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my phone needs a breathalizer
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
