It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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