I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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