No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
