i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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