Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
