I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The adults are the big ones right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
