I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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