Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
